By Paco McCullough
Videogame bits is a new feature where we discuss videogame movies. Over the next several months I will be reviewing one a week.
This week in videogame bits, I watched Paul Anderson’s (The Resident Evil one, not the Boogie Nights one) Mortal Kombat. I had fond memories of this movie, as I’m sure most boys from the 90s did. It had been years since I had seen it, and I found myself actually excited to see this film. Boy was I disappointed.
Mortal Kombat follows three humans as the fight in a tournament to save the earth from the evil Outworlders. If ten tournaments are lost, then the Outworlders will conquer earth and enslave all its inhabitants. At the start of the film, nine have already been lost, so a lot is riding on our heros. Somehow the writers managed to make heros that were not only cliched and poorly written, but also unlikable on their own merits. Even though I felt like I hardly knew Johnny Cage (Linden Ashbey, who has had no other major roles to speak of), I still found him incredibly unlikable. If you don’t care about the characters, then there’s no thrill when they’re put at risk.
The story takes up far too much time, which would be a problem even if it was good. Mortal Kombat is based off of a videogame where all the characters do is fight, yet only a small percentage of this movie is actually fights. Much more of this movie is talking about fights and the characters fears. I cannot emphasize enough how poorly written these scenes are.
As for the fights themselves, they are competently done. None of these actors are comparable to Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Sonny Chiba, or any other professional martial artists. Despite this, the fights are decently choreographed, although there is an absurd level of backflips that take place. Nearly all the action is bloodless, which as a fan of the games, I feel is counterproductive. Considering how violent the videogame Mortal Kombat was, I am confused as to why they chose to make a tame PG-13 flick. The only thing the two properties seem to have in common is their overall level of campiness.
There are certain enjoyable things about this film. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa seems to be the only one in on the joke, chewing the scenery as the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung. The cheesy techno score is laughable in all the right ways. Mostly though, this movie is not worth your time or energy. If you are interested in a Mortal Kombat viewing experience, check out the highly superior web series.
2.5 out of 5
© Tanner McCullough, 2011
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