It’s very easy to call Steven Seagal a talentless hack capable only of making horrible movies (I just did). However, after watching 1994’s On Deadly Ground, I’m fairly certain that Steven Seagal not only is the most intelligent man in the action movie business, he is also one of the most aware what the target audience of an action movie wants. After seeing this film, I realized my expectations for action movies are far too low.
From now on, I expect:
Man vs. bear action
Using explosions as a means to fight fire. Not as in fighting fire with fire, but as in using an explosion to put out a fire on an oil rig.
Talented actors, such as Michael Caine, R.Lee Ermy, and a chubby Billy Bob Thorton hamming it up.
Scenes where the protagonist teaches a defeated bad guy with a broken nose the error of his ways
An exit from a building with a Native American sidekick (who only appears in one scene) who says, “we’re going on a mystical journey”
The film ending with Steven Seagal giving a five minute speech on the need for environmental protection.
All of these things occur within what can honestly be called one of the greatest movies ever made. Most movies couldn’t handle this frequency of awesome spread through the length of all three Lord of the Rings movies. Not even included in the above list- the fact that Steven Seagal lets some redneck call him “cupcake” for two whole minutes before a beatdown, nor the discussion of said redneck’s balls, a feather that sends you on a miracle journey in your mind, or that the movie begins with Seagal landing in Valdez, Alaska, (only a couple years after the Exxon-Valdez disaster) as an oil rig is about to blow.
As for plot- Seagal plays an oil rig inspector with a mysterious past who begins to suspect that the CEO of Aegis Oil is cutting corners and risking peoples lives. An old friend works on the rig, and has been threatening to talk to the EPA. A few minutes that I will not spoil later, Seagal has vowed to take down the company and the giant new rig they are building. First however, he must bond with another native tribe and imagine that he is fighting a bear. There is actually a scene in this movie where Seagal attempts to tackle a bear. If that sounds awesome to you, it’s because it is.
This movie feels less like a serious film and more like a post-modern expression of the state of action films. If it had come out 15 years later, it would have been considered part of the Grindhouse reclamation that includes Machete (in which Seagal plays a part). However, this film is also better than all of those films. Where they partially parodied the same films they homaged, this film is completely earnest, which makes enjoyment that much better. I can honestly say that there is not one single minute of this film that I did not enjoy. Steve, if you happen to read this, I officially apologize for including you in the article I wrote a few days ago (Four action stars worse than Chris Evans).
Critical Score: I feel my love of this movie renders me incapable of giving a fair review of technical merit or performance.
Crapsterpiece Score: 5 out of 5 motherfucking stars
© Tanner McCullough, 2011
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