By Paco McCullough
Since two of the three major theatrical releases this week (Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian) are remakes of older films, I decided to write this week on some of the most unnecessary Hollywood remakes of all time.
These two films were released only a couple years apart. Unlike several of the others on this list, the remake did take some liberties on changing the source material. However, I think that most people who were interested in seeing this story saw it the first time and had little interest in seeing it again. It’s too bad, because I’m one of the few that believes Matt Reeve’s Let Me In is the better film. It is undoubtedly the only remake on this list that I can recommend.
Halloween 2 (1981)/ Halloween 2 (2009)
I generally can’t stand Rob Zombie’s films, but his first Halloween remake was actually pretty damn okay. His sequel, however, was a giant turd. In what I assume was an homage to the original Halloween 2, (SPOILERS) a good chunk of the film was spent in a hospital, with Michael Myers hunting for Laurie. However, it ends up all being a dream. The actual plot is ordinary teeny slasher bullshit, except with a ghost telling him what to do (what?). This is the film that convinced me that Zombie is something of a talentless hack.
The Vanishing (1988)/ The Vanishing (1993)
The original Vanishing was something of a slow burn, but had a great ending payoff. For those who haven’t seen it, a man’s girlfriend disappears at a gas station. For years, he searches for her, trying to discover her fate. Eventually the killer comes forward and we get to see inside his warped mind. An incredible (and incredibly dark) finale makes this a classic film. Of course, dark endings aren’t Hollywood’s thing, so when the remake was made in 1993, they eschewed the original ending in favor of a “happy” ending. This destroyed any emotional impact this powerful film had, and became known as one of the biggest stinkers in film history. A surprising fact? The director, George Sluizer, directed both versions of the film, staining his own legacy.
Funny Games (1997)/ Funny Games (2007)
Speaking of directors directing their own remakes, lets give a hand to Michael Haneke. On of the bleakest directors in modern cinema, Haneke somehow convinced Hollywood to let him remake his classic Funny Games. This new version would be shot in English and star Naomi Watts. Unlike the other films on this list, Haneke didn’t make any drastic or unnecessary changes to his original piece. In fact, he hardly changed anything. Funny Games (2007) is almost a shot for shot remake of the original. The only significant difference? The previously mentioned English and Naomi Watts. I’ll leave it up to you whether Haneke was making a brilliant statement on the Hollywood remake or was just incredibly lazy.
Since two of the three major theatrical releases this week (Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian) are remakes of older films, I decided to write this week on some of the most unnecessary Hollywood remakes of all time.
Let the Right One In/Let Me In
Halloween 2 (1981)/ Halloween 2 (2009)
I generally can’t stand Rob Zombie’s films, but his first Halloween remake was actually pretty damn okay. His sequel, however, was a giant turd. In what I assume was an homage to the original Halloween 2, (SPOILERS) a good chunk of the film was spent in a hospital, with Michael Myers hunting for Laurie. However, it ends up all being a dream. The actual plot is ordinary teeny slasher bullshit, except with a ghost telling him what to do (what?). This is the film that convinced me that Zombie is something of a talentless hack.
The Vanishing (1988)/ The Vanishing (1993)
The original Vanishing was something of a slow burn, but had a great ending payoff. For those who haven’t seen it, a man’s girlfriend disappears at a gas station. For years, he searches for her, trying to discover her fate. Eventually the killer comes forward and we get to see inside his warped mind. An incredible (and incredibly dark) finale makes this a classic film. Of course, dark endings aren’t Hollywood’s thing, so when the remake was made in 1993, they eschewed the original ending in favor of a “happy” ending. This destroyed any emotional impact this powerful film had, and became known as one of the biggest stinkers in film history. A surprising fact? The director, George Sluizer, directed both versions of the film, staining his own legacy.
Speaking of directors directing their own remakes, lets give a hand to Michael Haneke. On of the bleakest directors in modern cinema, Haneke somehow convinced Hollywood to let him remake his classic Funny Games. This new version would be shot in English and star Naomi Watts. Unlike the other films on this list, Haneke didn’t make any drastic or unnecessary changes to his original piece. In fact, he hardly changed anything. Funny Games (2007) is almost a shot for shot remake of the original. The only significant difference? The previously mentioned English and Naomi Watts. I’ll leave it up to you whether Haneke was making a brilliant statement on the Hollywood remake or was just incredibly lazy.
Ah Paco, if you had only read Let the Right one in I might be able to take your recommendation to heart. Although I suppose that's what most of the assholes who read the book and watch the movie would say. Either way you should read it.
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